Several weeks ago I panicked while gagged very restrictively. My head couldn’t find it’s happy place due to the pain in my jaw and the muscle spasms that followed. So yes i choked, disappointed myself and caused fear within myself.
I hit a wall, but not a permanent one. My doctor said i had just overused and stressed my jaw and it was rebelling. Also I hold stress in my jaw, so he has given me solutions to help with that. Hence my jaw being on the bench. It’s perfectly predictable that our bodies will give us trouble from time to time especially under extreme bondage. Not sure why that huge ball gag and that medical tape hurts so damn much. That tape is very restrictive when wrapped around my head tightly.
I love being gagged and even taped…All that we do is consensual but i know my Master did not intend to cause me pain in this manner. Things have been crazy this past few weeks and I can only pray that the coolness i feel is not due to this situation and the emotions it brought up. Thing is i’m an emotional sub and passionate it’s what makes me who i am. I don’t understand what is happening of late and i’m insecure about it but i wont let that drive me.
So I choked and panicked a bit under extreme restrictive bondage, BFD = Big fucking deal
I will grow and evolve beyond this; as long as i breathe!